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Silly ciggie ban a right old fag!

Friday, June 18, 2010 by Daily Sport .

THIS week I’ve been getting wound up about a particularly stupid government policy. One which treats us like idiots and could kill small shops. Believe it or not, Ministers are considering banning the display of cigarettes and tobacco in shops. It would mean that shopkeepers would have to literally HIDE the fags under the counter. What madness! We all know that smoking is bad for you. But the idea that concealing fags under the counter will make you less likely to smoke means hoping you’ll somehow “forget” you’re a smoker, and accidentally give up without even realising it. They also think this potty policy might reduce the smoking by younger people. What?

Illegal

How can anyone seriously believe that making something more taboo will make it less attractive to rebellious youths seeking to stand apart from the crowd? In other countries where the ban exists it’s not made much difference. In some places smoking has actually increased. The evidence suggests making fags look “illegal” increases the amount of contraband on sale on the street, and that takes away lots of money from small shops. It could cause them to go bust. So my message to the new government is: show us you’re better than the last one by junking barmy stuff like this. Let’s stop pretending smokers will forget to puff if they can’t see fags in a shop and let’s take a more sensible approach to a serious health issue.

£190m? Truth and justice are priceless

JUSTICE was finally done in Parliament last week. Almost four decades ago, 13 people were shot dead in Derry, in Northern Ireland. That darkest of days is known as “Bloody Sunday.” At the time, the British government comissioned a useless report which tried to say that the army had done noting wrong. Everyone knew it was lies, and ever since then, the families of those innocent people who died have been campaigning to get to the truth. That truth was published this week in the Saville Report. It confirmed that the army had acted appallingly and was guilty of killing those victims. In reality, we all knew this but it’s very important that an official document has said the same thing. Guess how much the report cost? £190 million. It’s the most expensive report in British political history, and some people say it’s too much. They’re wrong. That colossal bill is the cost of covering up the facts in the first place. If it had been done right at the time, there would have been no need for this inquiry. And let’s remember an even more important thing: if Bloody Sunday had never happened, we wouldn’t have needed this report. Also, the Northern Ireland “Troubles” probably wouldn’t have been as bad as they turned out to be. Alot of people joined the terrorists because of that tragic day. Let’s hope this is a lesson that’s never forgotten and never repeated.

ONCE again, I see politicians are looking at reducing the drink-drive limit. It’s currently 80mg of booze per 100ml of blood. In normal language, that’s a bit less than a couple of weakish pints for an average bloke. They are thinking of reducing that to 50mg and having random breath tests. I can see their logic, but there have to be limits to limits. Also, the Tories said they were against further reductions before the election, so what’s changed? Our rural pubs already have their economic knackers in a vice, and this will make it even worse. Sure, we can save lives by doing this. But we’d save even more by banning cars altogether and all going round at 5mph in a horse and cart—though there’d be a new risk of slipping on the dung. Look, there needs to be balance here and an effort to manage risks instead of acting as if we can make life 100% safe. If they carry on like this they might as well ban fun, force us all to live on bottled water and hummus, and wake everyone up at 6am with the National Anthem and a 10 mile jog “for our own good”. It makes you wonder if these officials are being advised by common sense — or the Taliban.

I CAN’T resist the hottest topic of the entire World Cup. So my question to you is: where do you stand on vuvuzelas, those plastic trumpet things which make a sound like a swarm of locusts at every match? Personally, I love them. In fact, I think they should be introduced for Prime Minister’s Questions. As soon as Dangerous Dave stands up, all the back benchers could start blowing through them — drowning out all other proceedings with a deafening roar. I know it’s a childish idea, but you have to agree that it would be very entertaining. And we’d get no less information than we do now.