I don’t want to believe our World Cup bid is being used to wipe Sepp Blatter’s arse! SO, the domestic stuff is drawing to a massively exciting close – there’s the European Cup final and then the World Cup only weeks away. And of course, the small matter of a future World Cup beyond that – the one in eight years’ time.

Playing for England is what dreams are made of ...that and seeing Raquel Welch naked I WISH I could drink 30 pints. As it stands these days, I can only manage a slack handful before I start getting out the Roy Orbison and dancing about on the couch.

Roy turned Fulham from underdog to Euro stars WHILE one half of the population of West London have been wetting themselves over the prospect of another cup for the cabinet, the other half have been going about their business rather more quietly. The business of becoming one of the most improved ...

I've no idea how to pay back £35 million-unless I kidnap Wayne Rooney Relegation hurts, there’s no doubt about it. But when bad things happen, you carry on, like a brave soldier.

Scholes' derby winner means Chelsea are running scared Paul Scholes – he scores goals. Dying breed, regular goalscoring midfielders

I love Avram's balls.....now Dowie has got to grow some Whoever said that football is a funny old game got it half right

Toon got no balls.....Load of bollocks! CRACK open the brown ale and wheel out the pork pies – the Toon Army are back in town!

P Diddy at Palace bling it on! DOES P Diddy think Crystal Palace is real like the one the Queen lives in?

Legend Brown a hard act to follow PHIL BROWN has been nothing short of a superstar for Hull City and new boss Iain Dowie has his work cut out trying to match him.

It's over for Rafa-Moyes will soon be top dog on Merseyside MERSEYSIDE has always been one of me favourite places to play and watch football